ESPN report: Celtics want Anthony Davis, MY report: All 30 teams want Anthony Davis

Zach Lowe of ESPN.com is a journalist. That is a fact. However on occasion, like most NBA writers, he makes inferences based on his experiences in the world of basketball. In his most recent column tracing the ups and downs of the Kyrie Irving trade to Boston, Lowe hinted at the fact that the mere presence of Irving could help the Celtics lure extraterrestrial Anthony Davis to Boston:

If Anthony Davis becomes available — and the Celtics’ eyes are very much trained on him — Boston could throw together a package more compelling than just about anyone else’s. Irving would be an indirect part of that package. The NBA’s superstar class respects his ballsy showman’s game. (Ainge has long liked Irving more than most of his peers for some of the same reasons, sources say.) Beyond Davis, it’s hard to pinpoint the next star players who might become available at Irving’s age and merit a motherlode offer — another reason to target Irving now.

I’d say that sounds like a logical opinion Zachary. I believe most young stars like Davis would prefer to play with Irving rather than a ball-dominant point in Isaiah Thomas. The problem I have lies with what the rest of the media did with this paragraph of nothingness. Let’s take a look:

Since all these NBA publications and “experts” seemed to have had their worlds rocked by this piece of information regarding the Celtics and Davis, I’m going to take it a step further. I’m reporting this exclusively here: All 30 NBA teams, including the one he is on, are interested in landing Anthony Davis.

The Celtics did not trade for Kyrie Irving because of the pipe dream that is Anthony Davis. They did it because it made them better than they were without him. The only reason we are talking about it is because sports journalism is soaked in No-Talent-Ass-Clowns (NTAC) that can’t think of their own story so instead, they make one.

Once upon a time, the job of a reporter was an honorable and noble position. Now the only time they tell me things I didn’t know is when they are lying to me.

McGregor/Mayweather an NBA conspiracy to cover up Celtics-Cavs trade

Once or twice a decade the world is blessed with a transaction train wreck that highlights the ruthless business of professional sports: Alex Rodriguez to the Red Sox, Chris Paul to the Lakers, and now Isaiah Thomas to the Cavaliers? Anything but footnotes in the history of their respected sports, these failed swaps serve as stains of incompetence, injustice, and unfairness to both the players and teams involved. If only the Cavaliers and Celtics had something to keep everybody distracted while they figure how many hip bones their trade’s centerpiece has. Oh wait, there was something now that you mention it.

While Saturday night’s “Money Fight” failed in capturing my attention skill wise, it did succeed in creating several intriguing storylines. The initial eye-test tells me that when Floyd Mayweather and Conor Mcgregor wake up in the morning, they are comparable fighters. Only after the 25-minute internal clock of a UFC fighter ran out did the endurance King begin closing the space. Make no mistake about it: This was a war of attrition, not skill. The first three rounds proved this as Mayweather seemed confused by the 74-inch reach of Mcgregor (longest he has faced in his career). Mayweather failed to cut off the ring the few times he did have Mcgregor on the move, and the decision to repeatedly give up his back while tied up tells me he wasn’t interested in trading close range shots with Conor.

Despite not having his best stuff at age 40, the patience and conditioning of Mayweather were more than admirable. It was like watching Appolo Anton Ohno in his prime, lurking behind the pack of skaters lap after lap. Your heart is racing and you keep growing increasingly impatient waiting for him to make his move. Then all of a sudden he’s shot out of a cannon and passing South Koreans while watching BuzzFeed recipe videos on his smartphone. Eventually, greatness always prevails- that’s why they’re great. Conor McGregor should never have been in that ring, but then again neither should have Mayweather.

All in all, I didn’t feel so bad being 100 dollar’s poorer on Sunday Morning, however, I did have a feeling of emptiness. The world needed someone to hit the mat that night. There was no belt on the line, and no real professional consequences for either fighter should Conor have been knocked out. It was a spectacle and spectacles that expensive do not end with a ref jumping in for any reason other than unconsciousness. I have seen Mcgregor in FAR worse shape than that. If you think I’m making excuses for my ancestor’s countrymen, go watch the 4th round of Diaz-Mcgregor II. His legs had given out underneath him, arms flailing, blood dripping and was getting his ass kicked; He won the next round and it wasn’t even close. At no point during the tenth round of Saturday’s fight did I feel concerned or worried about Mcgregor’s health. Floyd may have beaten Conor up, but in my book, he didn’t finish him. Someone else did.

Now while this charade was going on in Las Vegas, Isaiah Thomas was landing in his new home of Cleveland. After meeting with team officials and taking a mandatory physical, Thomas didn’t stay around to go house shopping. Instead, he got on a flight and headed back to Boston. League rules mandate a team may void a trade should a player not pass their physical and as we know Thomas elected not to have surgery this offseason on the hip that knocked him out of the Eastern Conference Finals. So know what? Are they going to text Kyrie Irving “JK, lol” expecting him to be willing come back to play for the team he requested a trade for in the first place? And I suppose Thomas will shake Danny Ainge’s hand and say “No hard feelings” after scoring 53 days after his sister’s death and STILL getting traded? No, neither teams want this problem.

In an effort to keep things civilized, Cleveland came up with a brilliant idea to request another asset from Boston as compensation for Thomas’ bum hip. I thought this would be easy: Send them a 2019 2nd round pick and then I can add a Kyrie Celtics jersey to my shopping cart. Instead, the Cavalier’s counted with perhaps the most absurd offer since Jamie Lannister for both the Stark girls: Jayson Tatum or Jaylen Brown. I’m sure if the Celtics could spit through the phone they would. Imagine the faces of NBA league officials monitoring the conference call when the Cavs requested one of the Celtics two prized 3rd overall picks. They knew right then and there that this situation had no plausible, positive outcome.

The two sides have until Wednesday to come to an agreement or else the move will be vetoed. After originally looking like a rare trade that benefits both team’s, it now seems likely someone is going to get hurt. Who would’ve thought the NBA would have the best fight of the weekend.

What the hell is going on with Mitchell Robinson?

Despite being the 11th ranked player in the 2017 ESPN 100 recruiting class, Mitchell Robinson will not play college basketball this season. Or probably ever for that matter.

A rising college freshman taking a gap year before trying his luck in the NBA draft isn’t uncommon, yet it’s the series of events that led us here that has me befuddled.

Robinson, a 6’11 Center from New Orleans is by far the best player in his state, and some would say the best at his position in the country. He’s made appearances on the national stage for USA basketball in 2016 and 2017, Nike Elite 100 in 2015, Nike Academy in 2016, and a Mcdonalds High School All American this past year. He also starred for the “ProSkills” team in the Nike EYBL league this year. Despite his impressive credentials, Robinson managed to receive offers from only five schools:

Depaul, Umass, Murray State, Texas A&M, and Western Kentucky.

Short of killing somebody, I couldn’t think of a fictional scenario in which as many elite programs pass on a player like Robinson and even that usually wouldn’t be enough to scare away the Calipari’s of the world.

So how did he manage to scare off so many teams? In an age of information and oversaturation, I must confess: I can’t find a single reason. Not an unverified report, not a twitter rumor, not an educated guess.

We are talking about a multi-billion-dollar industry, cloaked in innocence, with teams that stop at nothing to put the best teams on the floor year after year…and there are only five teams that wanted this kid.

For every obstacle in collegiate sports, there are ways around them if you want someone bad enough:

Test scores too low? Get someone to take his SAT for him. (Derrick Rose)

Kid’s demanding money? Charles Barkley will pay him to go to Auburn.

What about legal issues? Pitino could make an exception.

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